Why Dads? Going online and searching for dad is a big deal. Best dad, great dad, dad gifts, etc… Got the point right? But, I did ask myself why is “dad” a big deal? Aside from the obvious answers, being a dad generally implies a man is in a registered relationship that includes a partner and one or more offspring. And, in all honesty, even no offspring in many cases. Sometimes with no partner, but that would drop the whole idea of this part of the blog.

I am a dad. I have a son who I love and am proud of. Aside from the 100 other things that drive me nuts though. But those other things are really what it means to be a child. As fathers, or at least in my case, moulding our offspring’s personality is based on certain traits and attitudes we think are important for the future, while steering away from others we wouldn’t want our offspring to exhibit. Those resemble those traits and attitudes we, as dads, have but dislike. I mean, can’t you think of something you don’t like about yourself? I do, and I overreact when I “assume” my son is developing that trait that I don’t like him to have because it is something I do not like in myself.

There are two ways of dealing with these. The easy one is blow steam through your ears and a horn out of your mouth at them that what they are doing is only going to be bad for them later on, or logically, think it through, explain it and calmly instill certain behaviors in a mature way. The first is an emotional reaction that can only serve to ensure our kids get stuck with what we don’t want them to, and the second is likely to be partially, if not fully, effective at freeing them from it.

But that still doesn’t answer why we associate with the word “dad”. Let’s face it, we are afraid to say “spouse” or “husband”. By implying dad, we are avoiding the fear that comes if we associate with “husband”. By saying dad, we are indirectly morse coding the SOS that we are husbands. And the wives pat us on the back, rather than spank us on the ass.

“You have kids?”, asks the guy next to me on the bus.

Nodding, I reply “yes, its been 12 years”. No, no. that’s the number of years I’ve been married. “I mean yes, a son, and he is 10.”

You can’t shut off that subconscious, can you. I’m grinning now.

This subconscious fear develops as the man of the house, the wife, slowly takes the fort and gets the troops in line. This also explains why many statements, words and contexts revolve around the man or the male gender, in general. Just like the term “man of the house”.  They are to ascertain our value as individuals and a group.  More often than not, these terms or changing, or the image of the “man” is becoming more curvy than usual.

So anyway, we also celebrate “mom”. Rarely the wife. At least in terminology. But that is for a completely different reason. I said earlier that I am a father of one, but my wife, she is always a mother of one, but frequently a mother of two. Yes, I admit it. Men can become childlike more often than not. I’m one example. Laugh, don’t be shy. There are at least a dozen things we do that trigger our wives’ motherly instincts. I bet you’ve heard “I’m your wife, not your mother” frequently being screamed across the house. I mean l get it, maybe, but its confusing the kids. My son had to come up and ask me where his brother was. As soon as I opened that mouth of mine, from across the house, comes another scream “I’ll talk to him. You’re just going to confuse him more”. “Yes ma”, I reply unknowingly. And there you go, two men with one stone.

But enough with that, being a dad is more than just a title. For one thing, it only shows how low a tolerance we have at doing what is needed, and how hard it can be to be the role model, especially when we are stressed from work or other things. Mind you, I am not saying that we don’t do it, but that it merely requires effort, dedication, and a constantly watching set of eyes that see all, above and beyond Middle Earth.

And don’t get me started with the ring.

So how about an escape room, no, not the game rooms where you have to find clues and solve the puzzle in 60 minutes. An escape room, where “dads” can read, share and have a few laughs about the pre-historic debate – make that debates – on the social structures of marriages, and how both genders struggle and compete, comically, to make it work.  Tweaked in our favor of course.

While many of you may disagree, genuinely or to be politically correct, you should consider reaching the end of this post the knock on the door, and here is me opening it for you with actions for future posts. Come in!